Its all about Wives

• My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.


• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.


• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong .


• I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
  I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."


• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.


• I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.


• My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.


• Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


• A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


• A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."


• It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.


• Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


• A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.


• The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."


• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.